Hung Up on Too Many Hugs

My 4y.o. son is Too Darn Affectionate.
I’m his mother – so 9 times out of 10 I’m okay with his excessive hugs (he probably got that from me anyway. But he even drives me crazy … not to mention his brother.  

I know what you’re thinking … “but that’s so cute;” “enjoy it while you can;” “what’s so wrong with an affectionate child?”  I may have gone along with you on that – and I have been going along with it. Even when he  ..

  • ran up to the mailman and grabbed him mid stream of delivering the mail
  • sprinted toward the neighbor who was in his car on his phone – and gave him a hug
  • lunged into a gentleman at a church that we were visiting and had never been to before

My point is these are strangers – strange strangers! Strangers who are busy living their lives. And he comes up to their waist – so he’s hugging strange -strangers- strangely! The whole scene is a hot mess.

But last night took the cake. The delivery guy from Mattress Firm dropped off the two twin mattresses I ordered (I got a great deal AND they delivered them on the same day!).  

This poor man was almost at the end of his shift, he could barely speak English and he was trying to get in and out (which was fine by me). Right as he was about to exit, my child jumps up plants one on him – a big ‘ole squeeze to his upper thighs.  

So who wouldn’t want a spontaneous, innocent show of love by an adorable 4y.o.? Clearly this guy didn’t! He was speechless – and so was I!

My husband talked to him and is still trying to convey that he can’t hug everyone all the time. And I’m racking my brain trying to translate this into 4y.o. logic as well. Any ideas??

 I can always count on the internet to find a source that validates my issues … such as this story (link below). Meanwhile, I’m hoping this is one of those phases that I can’t wait for him to grow out of.

Who Loves Ya, Baby? Kids of Extra-Affectionate Moms Are Better Adjusted Adults, Study Says


4 thoughts on “Hung Up on Too Many Hugs

  1. This one’s a doozy… Play it wrong and he might be scared of all people. I bought a book called Personal Space Camp when my daughter was having some boundary issues. Also, her daycare at the time taught the kids to ask permission before giving hugs.

    • Thank you Beth! I was thinking that I want to find a children’s book that addresses this issue. I like the idea of asking permission to hug too! I don’t even think he does it w/ other kids as much (except for his brother) but he does it with adults… which is another mystery.

  2. I understand the concern, but not gonna lie – the mental image of the mattress delivery guy made me laugh out loud. I’m sure you’ll figure out the right balance of kindness toward strangers, minus the physical assault.

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