If men are from mars and women are from venus – then our kids are from Pluto. That’s right, it makes no logistical sense, but neither does communicating with toddlers – who (just like this graphic) change faster than you can blink an eye!
But I appreciate those who try to make sense out of it with parental tips and tricks posted in online articles and magazines. And a lot of them are pretty helpful, even if they are only reminding us of tactics we’ve already learned (and abandoned.)
Yet, sometimes they really get on my nerves …like this one that made it to CNN.com. It reminds me more of ‘Little House on the Prairie’ – which is just not my reality. The author has obviously made her own mistakes – pretty much like the rest of us – and now she’s offering these June Cleaver-type resolutions to scenarios that she admittedly handled poorly. I can relate to most of her poor reactions – but not to her suggestions.
Let’s take a look at the phrases she says we should NOT say to our kids.
Are you serious? My variation is “Stop That Crying!”
My boys want a piece of candy and I say ‘no.’
The rugrats stand at attention – eyes downcast and the fleshy bottom lip slowly peeking out. Then the open-mouth moan signals the tear-duct switch in their brains and the neurons race to the scene like an organized ant colony carrying buckets of liquid which are then poured out of their eyelids. With amazement at their own power, rugrats forcibly shut eyelids, causing the liquid to roll down their cheeks. They look up at me – more confidently now.Caaanndddyyyy! (me) No. And the moan gets increasingly louder. (me) Stop That Crying!
It’s a mini science experiment unfolding right in front of me. Honestly, I have laughed at my youngest – until he started laughing too – and then he got mad because he was laughing… and it started all over.
Now … can you imagine doing it this way …I want candy. (me) No. But I want some (slow cry starts) (me) It must make you feel really sad when I say no – (cry climbs a few decibels) (me) But it’s almost time for dinner and – (cry reaches highest octave) (me holding his hand) Let’s stand here together and mourn the candy you can’t have .
Yeah – okay. How about this one …
‘Why can’t you be more like your sister?’
Yes, I’ve got my own variation of this one too… and it’s called ‘your brother did.’ Especially with my youngest – who desperately wants to do everything like his brother.(me) Before we leave – let’s use the potty. I don’t want to. (me) You need to use the potty. I don’t want to. (me) Mommy used the potty and daddy used the potty so it’s your turn now. Silence. (me) Your brother did it too … Okay.
‘You know better than that!’
This is definitely a regular for me.Youngest ‘drops’ fork on the floor – on purpose. (me) Don’t do that again! Oldest toggles his fork between his fingers. He eyes me, eyes the floor. He eyes me, eyes the floor. (me) Don’t even think about it – YOU KNOW BETTER!
‘Stop or I’ll give you something to cry about
Been there – done that – no comment 🙂
Are you kidding me? That’s every morning – like when my oldest decides to build a castle with his blocks while I’m ‘encouraging’ him to put on his socks.(me) Let’s go! We’re running late! I have to finish building my castle (me) HURRY UP!
Do I think my kids feel the least bit guilty – like the author implied he might? Nada.
‘Great job!” or “Good girl!’
Praise the behavior rather than the child … this one … I agree with!
You may be reprimanding me, which would be unfortunate because I’ve had bad mommy moments that are wwaayyy worse. But it is what it is.